Life.

Look back throughout my past, I couldn't imagine that I have come this far. Observing my past passing through, I realized that everything happens for a reason. Every single thing has its own reason ti be happened.

Living my life, now, a bit better than before.

I have been facing sad years. Problems. Conflicts. Ain't easy though to be faced. By me. Standing alone. Nobody is grabbing you, or even at least hold your hand. With love.

Being back stabbed was my hard times. Yeah. By person who you called friend. But from that, I learned life lesson.

Life ain't easy.

And I remembered one thing used to be spoken by Prof. Dr. Muhaya,

We do not live to achieve happiness, but we achieve happiness to live.

Now. Been here, studying my first year in university, is really my life. I love this life. This is just like fantasy. :')

It is not the 'happiness' that make it feels like fantasy, but everything that I faced through.

It is actually not that easy, to be here, stand alone. Again. But I should realize that I have Allah with me. Always. 

This feeling. Feeling of being alone going through this way that I chose since the first time I get to know more and more about Islam. But doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. Right?

But still. We are the ghuraba's. Feels alienated.

Well, in this life, people might love you, like you, hate you, betray you, and do whatever they want. But please, instill nicely in your heart, to forgive whatever people do towards you, without them, have to seek for forgiveness first.

Here, I have friends who really want to stand with me :')

And now, I am so grateful that Allah has made my life like this even though it is very heart aching. Passed my days with tears, and hope. Feels down for some moment. So down. Going through hard times but there are lots of 'hikmah' behind everything happened. 

Yeah. Happened for reasons.

I am grateful for my life now :')

T a b l i g h .

First impression pada orang t a b l i g h .

Berdekatan dengan sekolah saya, ada markaz tabligh. Jadi memang selalu lah nampak orang-orang tabligh ni.

First impression untuk gadis bawah umur ketika itu, mereka menakutkan. Tambah-tambah, berjubah berserban dengan janggut lagi. Masa tu tak tahu apa-apa 

Pak cik saya pun ikut tabligh juga. Ke sana ke sini tinggal anak isteri. Jadi timbul persoalan. Eh, tak sayang anak isteri ke tinggal macam tu je? Eh, siapa nak jaga diorang ni? Siapa nak bagi diorang makan minum? Eh.

Pernah saya tanya cikgu saya, "Cikgu ikut tabligh ke?"

"Tabligh tabligh ni tak ada ikut-ikut. Semua sama je. Tabligh tak tabligh sama je. Tak ada nak ikut-ikut". *Ok. Dia marah saya*

Tapi sekarang saya faham, untuk persoalan-persoalan saya. 

1. Tak sayang anak isteri ke?

Bukan tak sayang. Tapi anak isteri itu milik Allah. Perlu sayang Allah lebih. Jihad sikit. Kita ada tanggungjawab.

2. Siapa nak jaga diorang?

Allah yang jaga diorang. Kalau kita jaga hak Allah, maka Allah jaga hak kita.

3. Siapa nak bagi diorang makan minum?

Suamilah. Suami tu sekalipun dia ikut tabligh, dia perlu juga bekerja. Jadi, kalau kerja mesti ada duit. Kalau nak tinggal anak isteri 40 hari, siap-siaplah bagi belanja untuk 40 hari punya hidup. Nak tanya, orang yang outstation bulan-bulan tu acane pula tu? Cer citer?

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Memang, kadang-kadang ada juga yang buat hal. Yang tak kerja. Abai anak isteri. Dengan alasan, 'Allah jaga mereka'.

Eh, eh, nelayan kalau nak dapat ikan, perlu juga turun ke laut. Allah tak akan campak satu-satu ikan tu ke rumah dia. Alasan, 'rezeki Allah bagi'. 

Legend.

Jadi, janganlah kerana nila setitik ni, rosak susu sebelanga. Janganlah judge semuaaaaaa orang-orang yang keluar ke jalan Allah ni sama buruk macam satu orang yang buruk tu.

Ehem. Ingat senang ke nak jihad pergi keluar entah mana. Lepas tu ketuk rumah ke rumah. Kadang kena caci kena maki kena hamun. Ingat senang ke nak sampaikan kalimah Laa ila ha illallah?

Ingat senang ke nak jalan jauh-jauh sejuk panas makan apa ada. Ingat senang ke nak tinggal hal-hal dunia walau sementara?

Ingat senang ke nak jauh dari keluarga?

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Oh. Sekarang baru saya sedar, jubah, serban dan janggut itu semua sunnah Nabi s.a.w. 

SubhaanAllah :')