Look back throughout my past, I couldn't imagine that I have come this far. Observing my past passing through, I realized that everything happens for a reason. Every single thing has its own reason ti be happened.
Living my life, now, a bit better than before.
I have been facing sad years. Problems. Conflicts. Ain't easy though to be faced. By me. Standing alone. Nobody is grabbing you, or even at least hold your hand. With love.
Being back stabbed was my hard times. Yeah. By person who you called friend. But from that, I learned life lesson.
Life ain't easy.
And I remembered one thing used to be spoken by Prof. Dr. Muhaya,
We do not live to achieve happiness, but we achieve happiness to live.
Now. Been here, studying my first year in university, is really my life. I love this life. This is just like fantasy. :')
It is not the 'happiness' that make it feels like fantasy, but everything that I faced through.
It is actually not that easy, to be here, stand alone. Again. But I should realize that I have Allah with me. Always.
This feeling. Feeling of being alone going through this way that I chose since the first time I get to know more and more about Islam. But doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. Right?
But still. We are the ghuraba's. Feels alienated.
Well, in this life, people might love you, like you, hate you, betray you, and do whatever they want. But please, instill nicely in your heart, to forgive whatever people do towards you, without them, have to seek for forgiveness first.
Here, I have friends who really want to stand with me :')
And now, I am so grateful that Allah has made my life like this even though it is very heart aching. Passed my days with tears, and hope. Feels down for some moment. So down. Going through hard times but there are lots of 'hikmah' behind everything happened.
Yeah. Happened for reasons.
I am grateful for my life now :')